


Take A Bath and Breathe Easy

by Beam (ForestDivinity)



Series: Welcome to The Haunt House [2]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Bath Time, Fun, Implied kink, M/M, Pseudo-Incest, Selkie!Diego, Selkies, Werewolf!Klaus, Werewolves, idk how to tag, lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:07:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27122938
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForestDivinity/pseuds/Beam
Summary: "Klaus! Get your ass out of the goddamn bath!"Diego is tired. His skin itches - or his lack of skin itches. His human form feels like a burden, and all he wants is to sink into cool water and relax for a few hours. He's even begrudgingly brought the bath salts that Allison had given him a few weeks back after he complained about the lack of clean sea and he's ready to pamper himself.-Just a little supernatural AU right in time for Halloween, this time with some sweet Kliego bonding. In which Klaus is more perceptive than he seems and Diego tries his best to act like a top but we all know he only succeeds half of the time.
Relationships: Diego Hargreeves/Klaus Hargreeves, Poly-Greeves (Implied)
Series: Welcome to The Haunt House [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1978843
Comments: 9
Kudos: 40





	Take A Bath and Breathe Easy

"Klaus! Get your ass out of the goddamn bath!" 

Diego is tired. His skin itches - or his lack of skin itches. His human form feels like a burden, and all he wants is to sink into cool water and relax for a few hours. He's even begrudgingly brought the bath salts that Allison had given him a few weeks back after he complained about the lack of clean sea and he's ready to pamper himself.

Or he would be if Klaus wasn't hogging the biggest bath in the house.

"I'm busy!" The full moon is coming up, which means Klaus is bitchier than normal, snappy and prone to baring teeth at anyone who looks at him funny. Diego knows that Klaus doesn't really do  _ angry,  _ but he certainly gets close when the moon is at its highest point.

Truthfully, he gets it - or at least he somewhat gets it, that transformation, the changing from one thing to another. The feeling that neither form is quite right; instead existing somewhere between the two of them.

But Diego is lucky; he can choose when he changes - so long as he has his skin he's in charge of his own body.

Klaus doesn't have that privilege; he changes with the moon, and the moon is a cruel and consistent mistress. As a child of the ocean, Diego knows that well, knows how she raises the tides and moves the sea. Knows how powerful and cold she can be. So it's no surprise that Klaus is snappy and probably in pain and Diego understand that but-

Well, he really wants a bath.

* * *

"Bullshit! Get your scrawny ass out of there before I drag you out by your hair."

"Kinky! Do I need to get my safeword ready, Gogo?"

Diego briefly considers tearing the door down. His skin is draped over his shoulders like a blanket or Klaus's scraggly fur coat, and all he wants to do is bury himself inside it like the warmth of an embrace but so much  _ more _ .

Why does Klaus have to be stubborn about everything? It drives him up the fucking wall and leaves him wanting to tear his hair out in sheer frustration.

"Tell you what, you get out of the bath, and I'll make sure you need it, baby." The drop and drawl of his voice is meant to imitate Five, who's certainly the best of them at getting Klaus to do  _ anything _ quickly but Diego isn't sure he quite hits the mark. Bossing Klaus around isn't difficult but actually getting him to do something is a chore and Diego can't quite find the energy for it on days like today.

Days when he exists to the left of his own body, days when he itches for the thrill of a fight, a knife in his hands, the cool water of the sea.

From the bathroom, there's the sound of moving water and then wet footsteps across the tile.

Then the door is opened, and Klaus stands there, damp, dripping, and entirely naked. Diego blinks and wonders why he's surprised at the lack of a towel. Nearly a century he's known Klaus, it's stupid to expect him to show a bit of shame. 

(The days when Klaus hides away, covers himself in blankets and layers and clothing from times long gone by are the worst.)

* * *

"God, what is your problem today, Diego? Can't a beauty take a bath in peace?" Klaus flicks his soaked hair over his shoulder - it's been a while since he's worn it long like this. Suits him, Diego thinks, but then again everything manages to suit Klaus, sometimes through sheer force of will.

Bastard.

"There's a beauty in the bath? Must be a stupid one to share it with you." He rolls his eyes at his brother and glances over his body before peering around him to look into the bathroom, gasping in surprise when there's no one in the bath. "Oh no! Looks like they escaped."

Klaus snorts and flicks water into his face. 

"Shame, guess I'll get to continue my bath all alone." Klaus goes to shut the door again.

"Fuck no you don't!"

"Diego you shitbag-" Diego shoves his foot between the door and the door frame and pushes his way into Klaus's personal space, baring his teeth a little.

"You're the shitbag, bro." He's going for casual, but by the flare of gold in Klaus's green eyes it probably comes off as aggressive.

The full moon must be close, for Klaus to be going all wolf, flashing eyes and teeth and claws. Klaus has a love-hate relationship with his nature, and he spends most of his time masquerading as human, pretending there's not a secret running through his veins.

Diego has met a few werewolves in his time. None of them have ever been like Klaus.

"Says the brute trying to interrupt my bath!" There's no steam left in the bathroom, the water having long gone cold. Whatever Klaus put into the tub might have been pretty at one point, but now it's just stained muddy colours around the white porcelain.

Just another thing for Diego to clean.

"You've been in here for two hours already. You look like a drowned rat." 

"I do not! Take that back." Klaus crosses his arms over his chest and scowls. Somehow even that manages to look pretty. Diego snorts to cover the fond amusement bubbling in his stomach and leans forward to prod Klaus in the sternum.

"Rat man. Why are you denying it? I've seen you eat dumpster food, Klaus. We all have." The bagel incident comes to mind as the most recent, and Diego is still a little appalled by it.

How Klaus has managed to live for centuries baffles him.

"That's simply a matter of survival."

"We live in a mansion, you moron. You  _ do not _ need to eat trash food to survive." 

"And I was hungry, you know I don't carry cash." There's a good reason for it, mostly concerning an addictive personality that goes back centuries and one too many overdoses for any of them to accept.

Diego doesn't like thinking of those moments, the shaking of Klaus's body, the pain. Sure, his stupid brother can't die, but it's still terrifying.

Not to mention Klaus is even more of a dick high. 

He rolls his eyes and shoves past Klaus, almost dropping the bath salts with the roughness of his movement. If Klaus gets an elbow to the stomach, it's his own fault for being in the way.

"Whatever you dick. I'm using the bath now." 

"I'm not done! You can't just barge in here-" Klaus squawks like a bird and flaps his tattooed hands at Diego. Thankfully he doesn't try to do something stupid like grab at his skin, the heavy coat still wrapped around his shoulders, almost brushing the floor.

Diego trusts Klaus. He trusts all his family - even lumbering Luther who he fights with on a daily basis - but some things are deeply ingrained. Instinctive. No-one touches his coat but him—those who do lose a finger or the whole goddamn hand to the curve of his blad.

"Watch me." He mutters and bares his own sharp teeth. 

"What is your goddamn problem?" 

"I want a fucking bath, is that a problem? Can you not just give me this?" Diego snaps. His temper is a fragile and fraying thing at the best of times, he knows he's quick to anger and quick to forgive as well.

* * *

Klaus eyes him with a steady stare, one hand comes to rest on his hip. There are the faintest hints of bruises there, and Diego vaguely imagines biting down, leaving the dark impression of his teeth on the pale flesh. Mostly though, he just wants Klaus to leave so he can curl up under the water in peace, let it drown out his worries for a little while.

It's been too long. He always puts it off for too long, and he still can't bring himself to tell them why—memories of tanks and faces and prodding fingers.

When was the last time he went to the ocean? Diego can't remember.

Klaus blinks slowly and rolls his shoulders before waving his hand - GOODBYE this time - at Diego.

"Well, why didn't you just say so,  _ mein lieber Bruder _ !" 

"I did!" 

"Sure sure." Klaus pushes past him and pulls the plug from the tub. The stained water - there's fucking glitter in it - begins to swirl down the drain. Diego vaguely hates how preceptive his brother is.

"There there, Gogo, have your little pamper session."

"It's not a pamper session, I just want a bath." Diego insists, cheeks colouring red as he scrubs down the stained ring around the bathtub, Klaus watches him lazily and wiggles his fingers.

"Sure, and I don't speak to the dead." 

How difficult would it be to smother Klaus in his sleep, Diego wonders? Maybe it would just be easier to kiss him, again and again until he finally shuts the fuck up.

Not that it would stick.

Klaus never knows when to shut up.

"Exactly. Now fuck off so I can enjoy myself in peace. Go annoy Luther or something." A wide grin spreads across Klaus's face at the idea, and he claps his hands together in excitement. 

"I'm gonna paint his nails orange! Get him in the spirit of the season!" 

"Yeah, yeah, go on you trash mutt." Klaus leans in to kiss him on the cheek, and Diego can smell mint and rosemary and see sparkles, dancing over every inch of his pale skin. Carefully, he turns his head and brushes their lips together.

It's nice. Chaste. 

"I'll see you later, Gogo." Klaus murmurs, his voice a low promise that makes him shiver in excitement. 

"Sure, later." He mutters in response and practically shoves Klaus out of the door, listening to him shriek as he stumbles forwards. As fresh, cool water begins to fill the bath he realises that he already feels a little lighter, the itch has faded to little more than a dull throb.

_ Klaus _ , Diego thinks and shakes his head.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment and Kudos if you like!! You can follow me on [@ashayathyla2](https://ashayathyla2.tumblr.com/) for more content!
> 
> I blame the [Elliot's House discord](https://discord.gg/dGg2Tb) for this!


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